it feels really nice when someone genuinely wants talk me, ahh nice people.
first week of spring semester
- for the first time, school traffic only took me about 45 minutes
- I was really anxious, arghh
- I really don’t know why but i am taking two anthropology courses even though i don’t really need it for my major.
- One of my anthropology prof could pass as one those old monks in the medieval age lol and the other is archaeologist who is a Doctor Who fan hah this should be interesting. These classes are pretty interesting and cool.
- Last wednesday morning, i popped one of the tire’s panel that hold the company car’s logo and my sister went chasing after it. Eventful morning..
- I came clean on the same day and told my mum about the car incident, it’s actually nice and so less stressful from what I used to do.
- Celebrated CNY, it was nice. I wore a skirt for first time in ages, that’s something nice to dress up for once. Helped out, ish for the new years
- Actually had a real conversation with my aunt L. I got to have a better perspective on how she is viewing life, I hope she does have courage to follow her dreams and quit the job she hates.
- Learnt that my aunt S, have cancer last week and she going through the process right now…and she haven’t told my grandparents yet. I dont know how they are going handle it because they are pretty old and my aunt T had PCOS cancer several years before and she won that battle, but…
- On the second day of cny, my older cousin who is engaged ended up hiding a baby yorkie in my grandpa’s house, that was fun lol.
- Had a real chat with my younger cousin about art/ drawing and like future occupation. Is it weird that he is more realistic than me?
- my last prerequisite course so I can apply for my major is finally hitting me, it is definitely scary I mean only half get in. I heard from last year, about 100 students applied in the spring semester and only 49 got into the school program. Shit, to reapply means waiting for entire year. Geez this making me reevaluating my choices and whether this is for me, really for me. I don’t know how the other students are dealing with this, for past 1 1/2 years i was trying to not thinking about it and this is it, this is the semester I will applying for the program. I have kind of thought about the alternatives, ish. hmm, my older cousin is right about believing and having faith that you can do etc the mindset of positivity, it’s kind of hard changing old habits but it’s getting there. Feeling kind of better letting this out instead bottled up, sigh
- I have been late to my major course and super duper my geography lab. Actually, no my major course started earlier and he talks so softly and quietly, why did I blasted my music so loud back in the day? sigh i need to sit closer or something. For geography lab, I arrived with 30 mins of class left. It starts a 1pm not 3pm (-A-)|| I was pretty frazzled because they had already started on the packet of hw @.@ crap, i need to finish before friday.
- my first math prof was a hungarian immigrant, she talks in a very dry and monotone voice. She was really funny and chillax, too bad she had to ditch my class for a new classes for the calculus. but the new one isn’t so bad, though she focused more on math logic and i realized i need that in my life or at least to become better at it.
Glad the first week was over, although it was the first week it went by so slow. honestly it felt like two or three weeks had actually passed by not one. hmmm, i wonder how the routine would be like for next week. Ahh I gonna miss babysitting Kellin, such a rambunctious baby err toddler? idk
hey dont be a dick to people who work in mcdonalds or clean toilets or empty bins or sweep streets or put your food through the till in the supermarket because u know what they go home to their family every night too and they are just as valid as you theyre doing these shitty jobs which means you dont have to do them so be fucking nice
Sometimes I English very well but sometimes no
She never felt like she belonged anywhere, except for when she was laying on her bed, pretending to be somewhere else.
"Mother," I slowly repeated in Korean. "I am not a boy. I am a girl. I am transgender." My face reddened, and tears blurred my vision. I braced myself for her rejection and the end to a relationship that had only begun.
Silence again filled the room. I searched my mother’s eyes for any signs of shock, disgust or sadness. But a serene expression lined her face as she sat with ease on the couch. I started to worry that my words had been lost in translation. Then my mother began to speak.
"Mommy knew," she said calmly through my friend, who looked just as dumbfounded as I was by her response. "I was waiting for you to tell me."
"Birth dream," my mother replied. In Korea some pregnant women still believe that dreams offer a hint about the gender of their unborn child. "I had dreams for each of your siblings, but I had no dream for you. Your gender was always a mystery to me."
I wanted to reply but didn’t know where to begin. My mother instead continued to speak for both of us. “Hyun-gi,” she said, stroking my head. “You are beautiful and precious. I thought I gave birth to a son, but it is OK. I have a daughter instead.”